Oct 10

Preparing your child for a New Sibling [Toddler Education, Parenting Tips+]

Have you ever heard?

Recent statistics show that it takes longer time for a newly married couples to make decisions about having a child than having a second one.

In other words, our children are meeting their new siblings at a younger age.

How does your firstborn feel about having a new sibling?

The firstborn, who used to have all of their caregiver’s attention, may feel a huge shock, frustration, and a sense of loss due to the new baby.

Feeling jealousy and rivalry, they may lash out at their sibling, pretend to be sick, wet their clothes, or show signs of language regression. They might even become overly clingy to their caregiver, not wanting to lose the love and attention.

So, what should caregivers do during this time?

1. Don’t scold your firstborn.

The child may feel even more stressed and begin to resent the new sibling. This could lead them to feel isolated, withdrawn, and grow up to be timid.

Though it may be challenging to manage both children, try to embrace your firstborn with even more love. Soothing their anxieties and helping them express their uncomfortable feelings with words, instead of actions, can go a long way.

2. Be careful not to make them feel like you love the new sibling more.

In front of your firstborn, avoid showing too much affection for the second child to prevent them from feeling left out.

However, since it’s natural that the new baby will demand more of your time, make sure to regularly set aside one-on-one time with your firstborn to help them feel like they’re still your priority.

3. Involve them in caring for their new sibling.

It’s a good idea to help your firstborn adjust to the new environment even before the baby arrives. Let them touch your belly, talk to the baby, and even kiss it. Show them ultrasound pictures and involve them in shopping for baby items. After the baby is born, let your firstborn help with small tasks, like bringing clothes or diapers.

However, never force them to sacrifice or be overly kind to their sibling. Taking care of a child is an adult’s responsibility. If they willingly help, be sure to give lots of compliments and express your gratitude. This will help them feel proud and realize that the baby needs their help.

4. Respond naturally to any regressive behaviors.

Many firstborns show regressive behaviors, thinking they can get more attention by acting like the younger sibling. Instead of scolding them, show acceptance, and praise them when they act their age.

Child regression is not an unconscious habit, but a response to emotional changes. Once their unmet emotional needs are fulfilled, regressive behaviors will naturally diminish.